Start the New Year with Take Care
January 15, 2008
New Years Revolution
One of the greatest contributors to stress is self-expectation. Usually unspoken and often unachievable, the expectations that we place on ourselves can make it impossible to live up to our own standards and to be happy.
At no time are expectations more of a burden than January 1st. We resolve to end bad habits, embrace good ones and make the world a better place. When we manage to break most of our resolutions by January 3rd, we fall back into old patterns of behaving, feeling all the worse for once again failing the New Years test.
I say it is time for a New Year Revolution. Instead of resolving to change, let's resolve to understand. Then, perhaps, we can really get a handle on the direction we want to go in our lives.
There's always a reason
To make change, you must first understand this: There are always reasons behind why people act the way that they do. The reasons aren't usually conscious and aren't necessarily logical … but they are there nonetheless. Realizing this truth can help you to better understand yourself and to make the changes that you want in your life.
If you have a particular behaviour that you want to change, start by asking yourself, "What do I get out of acting this way?" Giving thought to this question can bring about some very surprising, and helpful, answers.
Let's look at the crazy-busy person. The crazy-busy person has so much to do that she can't stop without falling behind. Everything is done in a rush, everything is urgent and everything must be attended to now.
We might assume that the crazy-busy person is busy because she has a lot to do. But if we look a more closely there are other reasons behind her behaviour:
- Being busy makes her feel important, vital and irreplaceable.
- Being busy gives her a way to avoid dealing with unpleasant experiences, feelings or people - maybe problems at home, grieving the death of a loved one or confronting a difficult co-worker.
- Being busy helps her to feel connected to the community.
- She is afraid to say, "No," because other people might reject her.
- She is afraid to let others take on responsibility because they might be better than she is (and then she won't be needed any more).
Now, if our sample crazy-busy person resolves to be less crazy-busy in the New Year - without understanding what is behind her behaviour - how successful do you think she'll be at keeping her resolution?
Starting a revolution
On the other hand, if she takes the time to understand what she gets out of her crazy-busy behaviour perhaps she can address some of the deeper issues affecting her life. Starting a New Years Revolution is taking the time to understand what you need in life and how your own actions fill that need. Armed with this insight, you can change the world!
Start your New Years Revolution today!
What is Take Care?
"Health and wellness" is one of those phrases that, while popular, is becoming a bit of a cliché these days. While overused, "health and wellness" is often misunderstood and can have different meanings for different people.
I like to simplify things. So rather than calling this just a "health and wellness column," I have decided to call it, Take Care. I have chosen Take Care because that is what I will be writing about - how you can take care of yourself.
Don't worry. I won't be throwing facts and statistics at you - although I may occasionally share the title of a great book or the link to an awesome website. Neither do I claim to be a great guru with all of life's answers. What I can offer is the experience that I have gained from 43 years as a human being, 20 years in human services and almost a decade of living with chronic illness.
Let's face it; we live in a crazy world these days. We are constantly barraged by the demands on our time, attention and energy. Many of us are working full-time, managing a home, raising children and taking care of our parents … in some cases even our grandparents (or grandchildren…). We never seem to get away from the ringing of cell phones, the beeping of text messages and the growing pile of email messages in our inboxes - not to mention the old fashioned paper way of communicating.
Just when we think we are on top of it all, we decide to do something crazy like take a vacation … and we have to work twice as hard to get ready before we go away and three times as hard to catch up when we get back.
The body isn't made to be under constant stress. Constant stress leads to physical changes in the body and the mind that can contribute to serious illness. So don't tell me you can't afford the time to take care of yourself because I'll tell you that you can't afford NOT to take care.
Think of "Take Care" as a place to start … a place to start thinking about some very basic ways that you can take better care of yourself.
Why not start by visiting our website each month and reading this column?
Take care,
Kristin
About the author
Kristin has two decades of experience in the not-for-profit and social services sector, ten of those years spent running her own business - KDM Program & Management Services. Through KDM, Kristin provides contract, short-term and recurring program and management support to the not-for-profit sector. Services include - but are not limited to - public relations and marketing, website planning and content development, proposal writing, program evaluation and development, and project management and coordination. To reach Kristin, click here.
Copyright
The column, Take Care, and its contents are copyright, Kristin Duare McKinnon, all rights reserved. You may download, display, print and / or reproduce this material in single, unaltered form only - retaining copyright notice and author information - for your personal, non-commercial use. You must not change any of the material or remove any part of the article or notices that follow. For further information or to use the information contained in any Take Care column outside of the parameters indicated here, please contact Kristin.
Disclaimers
The information provided in the Take Care column is of a general nature only and is not intended as a substitute for professional health advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any personal medical and health questions that you may have. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website or any other website.
We have made reasonable efforts to ensure that the information contained in the Take Care column is accurate and up-to-date. To the extent permitted by law, Kristin Duare McKinnon and Community Living Kawartha Lakes accept no liability for any injury, loss or damage caused by reliance on any part of this information.
Please also read our external website disclaimer.
